Wow.

Dear God,
It has taken you 3 years to answer this prayer. I have prayed for a heart for people, I have prayed that you give me patience and understanding and the ability to deal gently with people. I have spent the majority of my life not caring about people. Thinking that they were beyond help, that there was nothing I could do until they decided to do something for themselves. And I wasn't wrong. Honestly there isn't much I can do physically for these people. I can't make their decisions for them, I can't forcibly make them do what's best for their lives, all I can do is listen to them, speak truth in their lives and love them through it. I don't know why it has taken me so long to apply this technique to my life. I fully believe in the powers of the Spirit. And I never thought that loving people would be the gift you blessed me with. I find that the more I do it, the easier it is. The more I love your people and see them the way you do, the easier it is for me not to give up on them. I am flabbergasted that this is the role you would put me in. I'm equally surprised at how much I love it. There are so many people who come to me for advice, for love, and for compassion. Me? People are coming to me to show them love and compassion? You can change people God. You really can. I've told family and friends what I am doing in the dorm and how people come to me for advice and support. How people listen to what I have to say and how they see me as their safety zone. And they have told me that they NEVER would have thought that I would be the one in that position. I can't quite believe it myself. I can't believe that you would change my heart so thoroughly. I know I prayed for it. I know that I asked for it, but I thought you would only give me more tolerance for people. Instead you have given me compassion. And it's lovely. It may not seem like much to anyone else but it's life changing for me and I am just so thoroughly amazed at how awesome you are and how much work you have done in my life, and I just now realized how much work you have done. Thank You. :)

Really? Really?

I have been debating about this post for awhile.. Fuck it. It's my blog, I'll post what I want.
I'm irritated with people lately. I'm irritated and hurt by them. Why you ask? Because I'm tired of being used. Here are some rules of friendship I think people (Particularly the ones in my life) need to be reminded of.

- Friendship is a two way street.
-If you want to have a friend be a friend.
- Don't just bitch to me about your problems if I can't bitch to you about mine.
- You're drama is not mine, so please stop trying to drag me into the middle of it.
- I am not your mother...
- NEVER MISTAKE A FRIENDSHIP FOR FEELINGS OF SOMETHING MORE WHEN YOU ARE HEART BROKEN!

Have I made myself clear? Or do I need to spell this out better?

I get spiritually drained from you people. I really do. It doesn't mean I don't love you, it doesn't mean I'm not here for you. But I need to vent. And my blog is that outlet. So don't take it personally. If you identify with one of those things I bitched about, try to change it. If you don't, then you are a good friend and I'm not talking about you.

Give the nice guy a chance.

So here's the deal. I am very tired of hearing about how disappointing it is to be single, and how there are no good guys in the world left, blah blah blah. I'm done. I'm tired of hearing about it. Ladies... would you like to know why most of you are still single? Because you are holding out for a fairy tale that doesn't exist. Newsflash, Edward Cullen is not real, nor is prince charming, nor is superman or any of the characters from Vampire Diaries. You are not going to find a single, handsome, in shape, sweet, nice guy, with perfect hair and a gorgeous smile, who waits on you hand and foot and whom you never fight with. It's unrealistic and it's not going to happen. Period. You know who you're going to end up with if you are waiting for this man? Yourself. So next time the sweet nerdy guy asks you out, say yes. Or better yet, take that one guy you have in the friend zone who is absolutely in love with you, and give him a chance. Chances are if you are friends with him than he will treat you right and you guys could have a really good time together. That
"nice sweet guy" you're always looking for is probably right under your nose and you don't even realize it because you are too busy going after the hot jerk who will break your heart. Let go of the fairy tale. It's just that, it's fiction. Let the nice guy have a chance.

Count Your Blessings

Count your blessings, name them one by one.
We all know the song and have sung it many times. But who here as actually applied it? Who has counted their blessings? Whose named each and every one of them? I know I sure haven't. Lately I've been so focused on the stress of my life that I have failed to see the joy and beauty that comes with every bit of hardship we face or trial we go through.

So here I am. Taking the time to count my blessings. Taking the time to name each and every one of them. Because if I continue to dwell on what it is that is bothering me, I'm going to miss out on what it is I could be finding joy in.

1. Family. This is always and forever my number one thing to be thankful for. I don't know how or why God has blessed me with so many loving and funny people in my life, but he did and it's truly amazing.

2. GOOD friends. Old and new. People for fun. People to talk to. People to confide in and share my life with. People to understand and be there, even when I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and think I'm all alone. It's at those times that God shows me who my good friends are. It's the simple things, like sending me a text saying "Hey, it'll all work out in the end" Or "I'm thinking of you" Or even "what's up?" These people are there when I need them.

3. Life. It's easy to forget how fragile life truly is. It's easy to forget that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. I put off telling those I love that I love them, because there is always tomorrow. But there's not. That's not a guarantee. Nothing is. The only thing that is gauranteed is God's unending, unconditional love.

4. I'm thankful for school. I am stressed beyond belief with finals and this new game of catch up I am playing. But I'm thankful for it. 1% of the population actually make it through college and have the opportunity to further their education. I live in the dorms. I go to school for less than $10,000 a year. And I am involved in an amazing Bible Study with amazing people in my life.

5. I'm thankful for every little thing that causes me stress. I am thankful for every thing that causes hardship and I am thankful for every heart ache that is caused by those in my life. Because with every problem comes an opportunity to learn and grow as a well rounded individual. "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)


So, there you have it. Everything God gives you is a blessing of some sort. Even the hard times. Even the times where you just can't seem to find the strength to get up in the mornings. He's there. He's there, He's watching, He loves you and He is going to take care of you. Don't sweat the little things. Hell don't even sweat the big things. I read this quote the other day and it is pretty awesome. "If you can't change the outcome, why worry about it? And if you can change the outcome, why worry it?" -? And I think this needs to be my new philosophy in life.

Life as I know it.: Courageous By Casting Crowns

Life as I know it.: Courageous By Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGImW6F1BMA&feature=fvsr

Courageous By Casting Crowns

We were made to be courageous
We were made to lead the way
We could be the generation
That finally breaks the chains
We were made to be courageous
We were made to be courageous

We were warriors on the front lines
Standing, unafraid
But now we're watchers on the sidelines
While our families slip away

Where are you, men of courage?
You were made for so much more
Let the pounding of our hearts cry
We will serve the Lord

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

This is our resolution
Our answer to the call
We will love our wives and children
We refuse to let them fall

We will reignite the passion
That we buried deep inside
May the watchers become warriors
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/courageous-lyrics.html)
Let the men of God arise

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

Seek justice
Love mercy
Walk humbly with your God

In the war of the mind
I will make my stand
In the battle of the heart
And the battle of the hand

In the war of the mind
I will make my stand
In the battle of the heart
And the battle of the hand

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

We were made to be courageous
Lord, make us courageous

God the Drill Sargent.

This was my Jesus Bomb this morning. Everyone tells me that I should picture God like a loving parent who gives His children everything they need in life, protects them from harm and has the best of intentions and wants the best for their children. It's an accurate portrayal of God and it's a good one. However, it's not how I see Him.

God is a Drill Sargent. He sends in the recruiters, you sign away your life to be an obedient servant to the army of God, you go to basic training where they tear you completely down and build you back up, then you are sent to the front lines where you fight with all your might against the enemy. I mean honestly. This is life. This is God. God is a hard ass who is constantly pushing you to do more, to do better, to do the best. He is constantly riding your ass and wanting the best from you and for you. What soldier do you know of that ever tells their Drill Sargent "No Sir" or "Why Sir?" The ones that end up with a foot in their ass. The answer should just be "Yes Sir" with the assurance and conviction that where He is leading you is just and right and GOOD. But God isn't just the Drill Sargent that trains you. He is fighting right along with you. If one of His soldiers is M.I.A, He will go out and look until he is found (No man left behind) if one of His soldiers is suffering or mourning, He suffers and mourns right along with them. And He pushes you through.

God meets you where you're at. And He reveals Himself in ways you can understand. I understand the military. I understand that dynamic. I prayed for understanding, and BAMB! Jesus Bomb goes off this morning. The hardest people to reach are the ones who think they know everything (Me) so it's pretty amazing when God directly intervenes and goes "Dude... come one. I know you have the head knowledge, you're a smart person, let's put this in terms you can understand and apply. You get it now?" Yes God. I got it! :)