Jalapeño Disaster!!!

So the other day me and Telyse were making some soup and decided to put jalapeños in it. Well I chop them up, put them in the soup and then washed my hands. Silly me... I figured since I washed my hands of the jalapeño juice I would be able to itch my eyes. I WAS WRONG! My eyes were burning like nothing I've ever experienced before. So I run to the bathroom, wash my hands again, and then proceeded to cup water in my hands and splash it on my face. This jalapeño was coming after me with a vengeance. After I washed my hands for the second time, and dumped cold water on my face, I then wiped my hands down my face and effectively caused my entire face to be set on fire! I quickly stripped out of my clothes, turned the shower on cold, and let it just run down my face. After 10 minutes of freezing myself in the cold water, the pain in my face was bearable. And that would be a perfect end of the story if I weren't a complete and total half wit... I had an itch... I scratched it. and effectively had jalapeño juice burning there as well.(I'll just let you ladies guess where I had an itch!) I just about killed myself right than and there. I should have guessed that 2 washing and countless rinsing of my hands wouldn't wash away this demon jalapeño juice. So for the rest of the night my entire face was all red, puffy and splotchy. And I was mighty uncomfortable. Women everywhere... learn from me... if you have an itch and you just chopped up a jalapeño, DON'T SCRATCH IT!!!! It doesn't matter how many times you washed your hands!